You know how everything's so right it feels so wrong? You know that feeling...that excruciating feeling in which you want to strangle the whole world and let it die beneath your feet? You know that feeling deep inside your very core, that bangs and bangs, that pounds so hard it might explode? Yes? Really? Good!

It's like i wanna die right this moment. It's like i wanna sleep forever. Slumbering like crazy. No family. No wake up calls. No shouts. No friends. No food. No nothing. No you.


What if i died tomorrow? Y'think someone'll cry? Y'think someone will care? Y'think someone will mourn? I know earth will still revolve. Life will still move on. People would still be alive. Like nothing happened. I won't be enough to hinder the world. I'm nothing.

It sucks. Life's so damn hard right now. I wanna jump off a cliff and never be found. It's just senior year. College would be more tragic. How am i suppose to survive? Life would be like hell.

And this thesis thing. How am i supposed to write a 50+ paged research paper? How will my brain come up with words that'll somehow dazzle the readers? How can i prove my point?

Pressure. It's building up on me. Why am i not beautiful? Why am i born with fat legs? Why can't my nose stretch a little longer? Why can't my arms shrink? Why am i this tall? Why can't i be beautiful just like them? Why can't i get a little thinner, get a little curvier? Why can't i laugh normally, talk normally? Why can't i help myself from shouting...making me so unattractive? Why can't you focus some of your attention to me? Am i really that hideous?

Ughhh! I hate this! Damn it all to hell! I don't wanna die just yet. I don't wanna grow up just yet. I wanna hit pause for a moment. Relive our great memories. Cherish them more. Laugh a little longer. Cry a little softer. I wanna make things right this time.

And really, if we loved again, i swear i'd love you right, Apollo.