Lately, i haven't been sleeping normally. It's now hard for me to sleep at 10 pm. Really. It's like my body clock's fixed with shutting down at 12:30 or so. Huh. I hate it.
Those long wee hours i've stayed widely awake was torture. I wanted to sleep so badly, but my consciousness won't let me. I tried almost all the methods to fall deeply in to slumber, but i failed miserably. So i tried to think and reminisce.
Cookie...
The thought of him came across my bewildered mind.
His jests. His laugh. His sense of humor. His spontaneousness. His unconditional care. His singing voice. His guitar playing skills. His touch. His adorable smile. His heart-warming stare. His lies. His women. His false love.
It hurts. Up 'till this very moment, just the thought of what we used to be hurts. It's been 21 months since i've truly, honestly fallen head over heels for him. And i...i thought i've moved on. I wanted to. I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget the butterflies that used to swarm my stomach whenever we're together. I wanted to forget it all. But...i couldn't.
I know the facts. I know that he loves someone else. I know it deep inside my heart. I've been trying to engrave their images inside my head, so that i could fully move on, so that i'll get hurt more deeply, so that the dagger inside my heart would go in deeper, but...
It's stupid. I know. I've only realized that i'm still...affected just now. I've already averted my eyes. I've already had someone else in mind. But...it's different with cookie. The feelings i felt, no, i've been feeling for him are different compared to the guy i had my eyes on.
I just...i...i just wanted him to love me back. I know it's too much to ask. I know i may not be that much. I know i can never be enough. It's selfish. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for loving you.
Those long wee hours i've stayed widely awake was torture. I wanted to sleep so badly, but my consciousness won't let me. I tried almost all the methods to fall deeply in to slumber, but i failed miserably. So i tried to think and reminisce.
Cookie...
The thought of him came across my bewildered mind.
His jests. His laugh. His sense of humor. His spontaneousness. His unconditional care. His singing voice. His guitar playing skills. His touch. His adorable smile. His heart-warming stare. His lies. His women. His false love.
It hurts. Up 'till this very moment, just the thought of what we used to be hurts. It's been 21 months since i've truly, honestly fallen head over heels for him. And i...i thought i've moved on. I wanted to. I wanted to forget. I wanted to forget the butterflies that used to swarm my stomach whenever we're together. I wanted to forget it all. But...i couldn't.
I know the facts. I know that he loves someone else. I know it deep inside my heart. I've been trying to engrave their images inside my head, so that i could fully move on, so that i'll get hurt more deeply, so that the dagger inside my heart would go in deeper, but...
It's stupid. I know. I've only realized that i'm still...affected just now. I've already averted my eyes. I've already had someone else in mind. But...it's different with cookie. The feelings i felt, no, i've been feeling for him are different compared to the guy i had my eyes on.
I just...i...i just wanted him to love me back. I know it's too much to ask. I know i may not be that much. I know i can never be enough. It's selfish. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for loving you.
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